Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My bed smells like the plague
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
