last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
