I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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