When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
