Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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