I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh god it's open bar.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
