what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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