he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
