i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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