For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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