Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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