You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
