If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who died my cat blue again?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize