so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
