don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
