Fuck appropriateness.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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