He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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