Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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