So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
