So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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