what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he thought i was a dude.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
