He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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