all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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