I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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