We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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