I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize