Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
