Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
