Me. At least after what I've been through.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
