Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
