So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
