just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize