The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
