I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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