I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
