I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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