okay pat passed out under dana's car
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
