brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im at strip club and am horny
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
