yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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