You work out of a Hotel?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize