if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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