im about as happy as oj after his trial
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
