Swine flu. Run for my life!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
