i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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