I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
