So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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