Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
