if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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