he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
