Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
