And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
