im gay
i know
yea but for you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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