dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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