He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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