singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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