I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How's work?
Spinning.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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