good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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