i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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