i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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