Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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