Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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