The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
