i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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