We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
