I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
