so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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