me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have tasted many bathrooms
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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