You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
