My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
