I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
