How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
