i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
