Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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