Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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