And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
