i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Shame - the story of my life.
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