im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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