I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
two words: eviction party
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
They have beer where we have blood.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize