we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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